And So I Run Now to the Things They Said Could Restore Me
by EchoFallsFromGrace
Summary: Madison Montgomery has just arrived at Miss Robichaux's and her headmistress can't help but be curious. A character and story study of her and Cordelia's relationship through the season. Part Cordison, part Foxxay.


**Song to NOT listen to while reading this; Cough Syrup by Young the Giant. I cried just writing to it. I'm a mess.**

**Non-sexual Cordison from before and through and after the events of Coven. Hints at Foxxay. Headcanoned with and beta-ed by Grace.**

**Rated T**

It'd been so quiet before, a silent, _mute_, sanctuary. A purgatory. And now Cordelia didn't know whether she'd liked her punishment before. Before her. She had at the time. So she thought.

But the girl's noisy arrival made it so much more painful, _real_, that she was alone. She welcomed it as much as the barbed insults thrown at her. At last, she had a seen devil taunting her from her corner, three pronged fork in hand, more than the shadow her mother had ever been, laughing maniacally from the dark. Unable to strike true.

Much like the girl's words.

Her hazel eyes flared with anger and crackled with seeping rage, but she never directed her gaze at the older blonde. She didn't dare to. In a show of what must have resembled respect, her idea of it. Whatever trial she put Cordelia through, it was always with a hint of awe. When she threw glass, when she slurred drunken yells, when she whined out into the dark night. But especially in those quiet moments between tantrums, honey eyes upturned to stare at her evenly, a trace of wonder swirling in them before they steeled again. Cordelia cherished those.

There was a sweet side to the acidic drugs. Maybe Madison Montgomery was a flushed face angel. Maybe she was a sober demon.

She was far from invisible.

OOOoooOOO

Cordelia couldn't help the little sigh that escaped from between rose tinted lips, and she knew Madison was smirking slightly from where she was, perched in a dark corner like a cat, almost purring, yellow eyes bright.

The headmistress's hands trembled despite her wiling them not to, and she was finding it hard to concentrate, much less move her shears carefully, properly. Her nose twitched at the invading smell of smoke.

"Plants need oxygen. Narcotics in cigarettes cut that from the air."

"Fascinating."

Cordelia's black eyes found Madison's golden ones. "Put it out, please."

The girl grimaced snidely but threw the butt to the ground anyway, heel coming down to rub it into the cement. The embers smoldered on. The dirty blonde crossed her arms over her chest, fingers twitching, aching for another cigarette already. Begging to take a drag.

Cordelia turned back to her plants, but she was still shaking. She put her tools down and heard Madison take in a breath. Surely she saw it as a break in the older blonde's concentration to talk.

It took a moment to come.

"This place sucks."

Cordelia bit back a smile at the bluntness of her words, so childish still. She'd heard worse from the actress, this was her holding back for her sake. Instead, she frowned. "You know where the door is."

"I can't go to rehab."

"Can't, or won't?"

Madison scowled and turned away. She reached into her pocket for a cigarette, letting it hang between her fingers as she started at it hungrily. But she didn't grab for her lighter. If there was one place she couldn't overstep, it was very much the greenhouse, Cordelia's kingdom. Tiny and underground, damask and dark, populated with nothing but foliage and musky air turned fresh. The flash of black eyes.

"I'd be eaten alive." Madison finally offered, hazel eyes on her cigarette.

"And forgotten. You couldn't take that?"

"I'd be hailed a hero as soon as I stepped out of those doors, seventy days later." Madison snarled.

"If you wanted to be a hero, you wouldn't be here." Cordelia pointed out softly, gaze on her plants. "Don't get defensive." She glanced around with a small frown. "The plants don't like it when there's yelling."

The dirty blonde wriggled her nose. "How would you know? No one comes down here except you."

"I've barred Hank." The headmistress replied easily. She reached for a vial up above her. "And I've had Fiona in here often enough. My belladonna died last time she visited." She sighed, sporting a small frown.

"Fiona."

Cordelia glanced sideways at her and found the girl staring again. The Supreme's name had rolled off her tongue, stayed there, gotten stuck in her throat. She couldn't swallow it and her eyes became wide at the sheer idea of the head witch. All her power.

The headmistress was quick to speak. "Don't covet her position, Miss Montgomery. A week here does not give you the level of understanding you need to survive at Robichaux's, or with her residents."

Madison's face fell." Right. Like Nan and Queenie scare me."

"They should." The dirty blonde stared incredulously. "And if they don't, then my mother and the council."

"Not you?"

Cordelia's eyes didn't meet hers. "I'm a teacher, what'd be the point in instilling fear into you?"

"You may be content with your room here, but I want the world, Foxxy." Cordelia's head turned up sharply. "Being nice and submissive won't get me there. Obviously."

"The world isn't something to want." The headmistress replied. She moved past the girl to reach her stores, and knew Madison watched critically. "And you'll refrain from calling me that from now on."

The actress softened. "I like it."

"And I don't."

The dirty blonde turned, rolling her eyes, annoyed. She paused. "What are you doing anyway?" She took a step towards the woman. "Sleeping draught? Truth serum? Poison?"

"Steak rub."

Madison blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Spalding's making steak tonight. I offered to help."

The girl sighed in disgust more than disappointment and walked away, smoke trailing behind her a minute later.

OOOoooOOO

Madison's sour mood was still rampant at dinner, though the crème brulée wafted underneath her nose by the academy's mute butler had softened her exterior lightly. Enough that she'd eagerly taken the spoon handed to her by the man when prompted. Cordelia even thought she'd heard a muttered "thanks", though if she was being honest with herself, it was most likely her imagination.

But Nan's incessant ramblings deepened her frown as time went on, and by the time coffee was served, it was too late for the headmistress to run. She hated conflict.

It started with random tapping, then annoyed sighs, little quips following quickly, and before Cordelia'd had time to reach for the milk, Queenie and Madison were screaming at each other from across the table, and she was holding her head in her hands as Nan continued talking through them.

Cordelia called out weakly and was easily ignored by the bickering girls. All she received was a quick glance from the clairvoyant. Madison's voice reached a shrill note and it took a moment for the headmistress to realize Queenie had taken a fork to her own shoulder, digging it in deep. Cordelia lunged across their dinners and snatched the fork away, the sound of slicing flesh making her gag, and Madison let out another yell, her fingers grasping at her bleeding skin.

The fork clattered to the ground with a sharp, metallic, twang and the three girls fell silent, eyes wide as they suddenly noticed that the older woman had indeed stayed for dinner.

Cordelia's voice shook. "I didn't think I'd ever have to do this, but it seems I have three toddlers under my care, instead of three young, bright witches. Lights out in ten minutes. Madison, wash those cuts."

The girls' faces fell, and even Nan seemed to understand she was serious, because she stood without a word and led the other two out of the dining room. Cordelia fell back into her chair, tears threatening to fall as she fought to breathe. There was something to be said for animation in the once stoic mansion, but this certainly wasn't what she'd hoped for. (She hardly thought now that the dirty blonde was the answer to her prayers. She was the answer to _something_, but what that was Cordelia didn't know.)

She took a few minutes to compose herself, black eyes on the bloody fork on the floor. She glanced up when Spalding walked by, yellowed fingers reaching for the abandoned coffee mugs, the bonbon wrappers. He ignored her like he usually did, like he always had.

Though his eyes had taken to sliding to her as she aged. She figured she looked more and more like her mother.

She stood and passed him, awkwardly throwing him a "thank you" that he let slide.

Nan had already turned off her lights, as had Queenie, their rooms across from each other. She could hear the younger girl's breathing from behind the door, and she lightly rapped her knuckles on the white wood, listening as Nan scurried back to bed. She turned and sighed, seeing a soft light come from beneath Madison's threshold, and she crossed the length of the hallway to it, keeping her gaze from flitting to Fiona's room.

She knocked but received no answer, and with a shake of her head, braved the unlocked door.

The dirty blonde had taken refuge in the bathroom attached to her room and she glanced up furtively, surprised. She grimaced lightly and moved to shut herself in, but the headmistress had already moved past her and into the bathroom.

"I said lights out, Madison."

The dirty blonde stomped her foot, irritated, and her voice was a whine. "It won't stop bleeding." She turned to fully face the headmistress at the woman's silent request, standing proudly in her bra, jeans tight around her waist.

Cordelia's fingers pressed at her wound incessantly and she watched as Madison fought to keep her face passive. "Did you disinfect like I asked you to? With alcohol?"

"I drank it all."

The older blonde shot her a warning look and reached for the medicine cabinet, finding a bottle of rubbing alcohol behind the mirrored surface. She wet a towel and reached for the girl's shoulder, black eyes snapping up to her face as she hissed out as the chemicals took to their effect.

"Why won't you just make friends?" Cordelia asked softly.

Madison gritted her teeth. "I wasn't taught to."

"What?"

"I wasn't taught to make friends." The dirty blonde echoed. "I was taught to look pretty and buy my way through life."

The two fell silent again as Cordelia reached for the gauze and began to wrap it around the girl's shoulder and beneath her arm. "I," She paused. "I understand that well."

"Sure."

Cordelia ignored the disbelief, the mocking, in the actress's voice. "I'll work on an ointment for you, to stop any more bleeding and infections. It'll be by your door tomorrow morning."

"I don't need to be babied." Madison snapped as she began to walk away.

The headmistress glanced back at her. "Who said I wanted to mommy you?"

OOOoooOOO

The actress was running her ragged, was dragging the entire academy into a deep rut, and she seemed to be enjoying it immensely. Her smirks suggested it, anyway. Queenie'd started talking back, and as hard as it was before to get Nan to help around the mansion, now it was impossible. They'd turned into little divas.

And so had Hank.

Cordelia'd began to hide in her greenhouse again, choosing to shut the world away instead of trying to fix it. There was no reason to. She'd work and chisel away at making her household perfect, and someone'd come around and ruin it all over again. A new student, an older witch with condescending comments, her mother.

A shiver ran down her spine at the thought of the older blonde and she braced herself against the counter, fingers shaking again. What was it with self righteous women in relation to her stress levels?

There was a knock at the door and she snapped up, back rod straight, black eyes frozen on the door. She knew that pattern, it was regular, played out musically.

_Madison_.

She stayed quiet, fingers arched up, knuckles trembling. Maybe the girl'd leave. There was another knock and her breath rattled out harshly, and she knew she wasn't as invisible as she'd hoped to be. The lights had given her away.

"It's open." She called out, though her voice betrayed her. She cleared her throat and waited, eyes down on the counter, for the telltale noise of the door creaking open and the girl stepping in with her clonky boots.

"Hey."

"I'm a little busy."

She didn't receive an answer and she finally glanced up into teary hazel eyes. To her surprise, the actress was standing there in an oversized long sleeved pajama shirt, her underwear peeking out from beneath the long hem. She was, characteristically, wearing the boots after all, wooly socks spilling out the top.

Cordelia moved to stand before her, suddenly worried. Her hands raised and she cradled Madison's head, tipping her chin back to look into her eyes. "Are you alright?"

"I'm not a kid."

"I know."

"I had a nightmare."

The headmistress sighed through her nose, her thumbs tracing circles around Madison's jaw. She pulled her closer and wrapped her arms around her neck, petting the girl's dirty blonde hair. "It's okay. It happens."

It took a few moments but Madison's arms raised up to hold Cordelia to her, burying her face into her chest. Warm tears were falling down her top.

Cordelia tried again. "Do you want to talk it through?"

"God no."

"Okay."

Madison pushed her away a minute later, hand against her chest, and crossed her arms, shoulders raised to her ears. "Sorry."

The older blonde took a step back, eyebrows raised. "For having a nightmare?"

"For barging in. It's late. You're working."

Cordelia shrugged lightly, braving a smile. "Not really." She admitted. "If you want to stay-?"

Madison shook her head, but looked away, staying put. Cordelia began to move around her, leaving her to her somber thoughts since she had nothing else to say, though she didn't have much to work on either. She turned back when the actress's voice reached her.

"Could you," The girl sighed, irritated with herself, hazel eyes steeled. "Could you walk me back upstairs? This place is too big."

"You live in a five million dollar home."

"I didn't say that place was comfortable."

Cordelia nodded slowly. She threw her rag into the corner of the room and took Madison's hand in hers, daring to press a kiss to the top of her head. "Come on."

Madison let herself be tugged halfheartedly up the greenhouse stairs and into the backyard and across to the kitchen's open door, Cordelia failing to scold her for leaving it so. The girl walked up to the second floor ahead of the headmistress, the older blonde's black eyes downcast from her rising shirt.

But instead of walking down the hall, Madison took a sharp left and walked to Cordelia's room, barging in without asking and with the headmistress watching her, eyes wide. Cordelia followed her, struck silent, and watched her climb between her sheets, back to her.

"Madison-" The older blonde trailed off into a light sigh, shoulders slumped, and closed the door behind her. She sat down besides the girl and took off her boots before lying besides her, staying atop her covers. She took a moment to wrap her arms around the dirty blonde, gingerly, cautiously, and tugged her a little closer. "This okay?"

"This is fine, yeah."

Cordelia nodded. "Sleep, alright? I'll wake you if you have any more bad dreams."

Madison didn't reply.

OOOoooOOO

"I know. Do you?"

Cordelia's black eyes left Madison's hazel ones, sliding to the door her husband had left through. She fiddled with the shears in her hands, letting them drop to the tabletop before drying her hands down the front of her apron. "What do you mean, Madison?"

The girl's scoff made Cordelia look up. "Please. Pathetic and useless? Sure. Stupid? Far from it."

The headmistress bristled but said nothing, unable to keep her gaze on the actress. She took a moment, tapping randomly on the countertops, waiting her out, but she didn't even step back. Finally, she glanced sideways at the dirty blonde. "Is there anything else you'd like to say? Or are you done insulting me?"

Madison_ tsk_ed, annoyed, before crossing her arms. "Whatever."  
>"Then you can 'whatever' right out of this room. You know where the door is, you barge in often enough."<p>

The girl sneered. "Mature."

"Because you're definitely acting like an adult right now." Cordelia snapped back. She turned away, a blush fighting its way up her neck. "Sorry."

Madison shook her head, echoing herself. "Whatever."

"I am. I shouldn't talk to you like that."

The dirty blonde eyed her, biting on the inside of her cheek. "I shouldn't either."

Cordelia gave her a sheepish smile, and it only grew when Madison rolled her eyes. "Do you forgive me?"

"Yeah. You got a lighter?"

"Not in here, Madison." The older blonde warned her, but threw her her lighter anyway.

OOOoooOOO

Hank and Cordelia had been fighting for over an hour, silent little yells that that barely left their room but that everyone heard. It was muffled, sobs and angry scuffles echoing out from beneath the door.

It wasn't the first time this had happened.

Madison had never heard the words "you're crazy" uttered more in the same conversation than she was hearing them now. She waited outside the room, pacing back and forth and itching to knock on the white wooden door, but her feet were ready to bolt if it was opened.

She ducked into Queenie's room half an hour later when Hank stormed out, slamming the door behind him with a loud bang, rage in his features and murder in his walk. And she waited a little longer before Cordelia's soft cries finally tugged her out to her bedroom. She didn't bother knocking and instead walked in, stepping back to be flush against the wall, watching the older blonde who'd climbed into her bed and wrapped her covers around herself.

"You knew."

Cordelia sobbed a little harder, a laugh mixing with the snot falling from her nose. "Of course I knew." She fell back onto her pillow and buried her face into it, her cries falling out in high pitched whines. "What am I supposed to do?" She asked. "Admit to everyone that my husband is out there-" She coughed out another sob, her breath rattling in her lungs. "-_Fucking_ teens? I'd rather die."

"Miss Cordelia-" Madison grimaced when the older blonde only cried harder at her calling her name. She stepped closer, hand reaching out and passing over her shoulder. "Cordelia, it'll be okay."

The headmistress's laughter unnerved the girl and she stood, watching her awkwardly. "That's the biggest lie I've ever heard, after "I love you"." She tucked her hair behind her ear. "God, my mother is going to kill me. I can't do this."

"What are you-"

"I can't let anyone know about this." She sniffed. "I don't even have any proof. But I know." She whined again and fell back into her pillow, shoulders shaking as she cried. "Oh god." The plea came out elongated, drawled and in between sobs.

Madison climbed onto the bed besides her and dragged her up into a sitting position, whispering into her ear and barely flinching when Cordelia buried into her neck, fingers grasping at her shoulder blades.

The dirty blonde realized she was her life line and she shifted so that she could rest back against the bed's head board. Cordelia moved to put her head in her lap, hands around the bottom of Madison's flannel shirt, tugging incessantly.

"Please don't use this as a tissue. It's expensive."

Madison smiled lightly when she saw Cordelia's lips twitch up past her tears, but it was far from enough. She started to worry that nothing would be enough again.

She suddenly pushed the headmistress off of her, climbing down the bed until she could hold Cordelia properly, arms wrapped around her back and far from letting go.

The headmistress's words were coughed out. "Please don't tell anyone."

"Miss Cordelia."

"You can't."

Madison nodded into her neck, nails digging into Cordelia's skin. She wracked her brains, remembering when the older blonde had mentioned she'd been married for six years, and she wondered how long Hank had been running circles around her, how long the headmistress had known.

From the way she soaked the sheets with her tears, she'd known for a while.

She leaned down and pressed a kiss to blonde strands, determined to silence Cordelia's wild cries, unwilling to have to explain to Nan or Queenie. Nan. She probably knew.

She pushed the anger and the jealousy back down her throat, rubbing circles into Cordelia's trembling back, offering sweet noises but not finding the words to accompany them.

OOOoooOOO

"A new girl will be joining us."

"Great."

Cordelia threw Madison a warning look. "Her name is Zoe and she'll be here next week."

"What's she do?"

The headmistress shrugged lightly at Queenie. "Her mother asked me to keep it quiet until she herself felt ready to talk about it." She ignored Nan's smirk, shifting, knowing her mind was being prodded. "I'm asking you that when she gets here, you'll be nice. Welcoming. Not yelling at each other and pulling hair." She gave Madison another heavy look. "Can I count on you?"

"Of course." Nan offered. Besides her, Queenie nodded halfheartedly.

The clairvoyant glanced around. "Is this it? Because the ice cream truck is about to turn into the avenue." Cordelia's shoulders fell a little but she waved her and the voodoo doll away.

Madison stayed.

The headmistress stood, steps slow, waiting for the actress to voice her thoughts, though she took a while to mull them over.

"You okay?"

Cordelia tightened her jaw, unwilling to face her. "I'm fine, thank you."

"I had another nightmare last night."

The older blonde turned, brow deep in worry.

"I didn't come to you because I was afraid you'd send me back to my room."

"I wouldn't."

Madison shrugged lightly. "How was I supposed to know that? You tend to shut yourself away." She looked away as Cordelia breathed in sharply. A warning. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about me." Cordelia said quietly. "You're always welcome in my room."

OOOoooOOO

"You know, I can always manufacture you a draught, stop you from dreaming so you can get some sleep." Cordelia said casually, passing the pads of her fingers against the under of Madison's eyes, her dark circles.

"It's not that I don't trust you, but I don't trust you."

The headmistress's hands fell. "If you want to look like a raccoon, you can."

"It's an aesthetic."

Cordelia mirrored Madison's sneer before breaking out into a laugh and walking out of her bathroom, leaving the actress to follow her out. She turned, waiting for her bedroom door to close behind the dirty blonde but was surprised to see her pad to her bed and get in between the covers. Only half surprised.

"Madison."

"Zoe snores. It's really annoying." The girl bit her lower lip, suddenly worried. "And I saw Hank today."

"He lives here. That's to be expected."

"We both know he's not coming back tonight."

The alchemist's brow furrowed. "Move over."

Madison let herself be tugged into Cordelia's arms once she'd settled in, sighs falling from both their throats. The headmistress pressed her cheek to the actress's hair.

"I guess this is inappropriate." She began.

"I'm not about to fuck you. Chill."

"I feel wanted, that's different." Cordelia mused sarcastically.

Madison gave her a wry look.

"I guess I'm more tactile than I thought. It's just not what I thought it'd be like, being married." She added to the girl's questioning gaze. "I guess I wanted love out of a husband, what I couldn't get out of my family."

"I get that. But I'm not much into official ties." Madison snorted. "Obviously we don't have anything figured out, either of us."

"You're still young."

"So are you."

Cordelia shook her head, falling silent. It took a moment for her to speak again, voice laden with fatigue, both emotional and physical. "I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"Because I'm a nosy jerk."

"I should be careful, shouldn't I? Madison Montgomery, lover, cheater, phenomenal actress about her feelings. Isn't that what MTV said?" Cordelia added, ignoring her. She'd closed her black eyes and her breathing was slowing. "You'll probably hurt me too."

Madison watched her fall asleep, hazel eyes dim.

OOOoooOOO

"Have you-" Cordelia trailed off, knowing her next words would come out funny. "Have you seen Madison?"

She felt the girl in front of her shift awkwardly. "No."

She'd have believed Zoe if it wasn't for the constant smell of Madison's perfume wafting through the house like fingerless shadows. It was too constant, too there for it to be anything but the actress walking around.  
>She wondered fleetingly if ghosts or memories held onto smell.<p>

"Okay."

Zoe left, her boots clacking on the white wooden floors, and she tightened her grip on her cane. She raised shakily, depth perception lost on her and her senses and with her gritting her teeth at the feeling. She felt nauseous.

It took her forever to cross to the salon, the mansion's tenants moving around her as if in rapid motion, her a statue in time. She'd walked Robichaux's halls for years. all her waking life, and yet, caught in the moment, could not remember where anything stood or sat. She wanted to cry.

But Madison wasn't there to hold her.

She ambled up the stairs and somehow, before the clock struck midnight, found her way to her bed. She sat on the edge, lost.

It wasn't until after her husband's phone call that she somehow snapped out of her reverie, barely registering what'd happened as her feet took her out of her room, that goddamned smell breezing by again. She followed it almost too quickly, legs threatening to buckle beneath her as she ran into walls even though she held her hands out in front of her.

Her fingers would be bruised in the morning.

Her voice called out hoarsely into what she guessed was darkness (though there was no way it was any darker than the images behind her broken eyes). There was no answer and she stepped farther out, no real idea on where she was, cursing herself for having forgotten her cane.

She breathed out again, names spilling from between her lips and it fell to a hushed whisper as her foot suddenly had no hold, as she started to fall forward and if she could have seen, she guessed she'd have seen her life flash before her eyes. She waited for the incoming pain like muted time.

But it didn't come when strong fingers tightened around her forearm and pulled her back from the endless precipice.

And she knew.

Madison.

They ended back in her bed, with her fingers tracing the patterns of the girl's face to make sure over and over that it was her, cold and stiff as she was. The scars were new. The snark wasn't. It felt warm, all those words. She pulled the girl to her and pressed her lips to her forehead, thanking her for god knew what.

But she was sure Madison had an inkling.

OOOoooOOO

"You're spending so much time with her. With Misty."

"And I'm here with you. Aren't I?"

Madison scowled, Cordelia's fingers registering the movement, her thumbs tracing circles on her forehead. The older blonde sighed lightly, one hand moving down to rest at the base of the actress's throat, feeling her pulse resonate through her arm.

"Madison."

"What."

"I'm not forgetting you. You know that, don't you? She's just a new addition to my life. To your life. To the Coven."

"That's what my mom said about her new boyfriend. And here I am. Not in my mother's home."

Cordelia's mismatched eyes closed and she breathed in sharply. "I'm not leaving you."

"I know. God. I know."

Madison angled her head up and kissed her on the cheek before burying back between her neck and shoulder, lips on her throat. Cordelia's grip on her waist tightened.

"Why do you like her so much?"

Cordelia wanted to tell her to stop sounding so small. "She's just, I don't know. Likeable."

"I can't hate her."

"I'm glad to know that."

"But I want to."

Cordelia didn't answer.

"We were supposed to be broken together, Cordelia." The actress said softly. "But she's fixing you. I can tell. That's what she does. And you're so broken that it's almost too easy to put you back together."

"That's not true."

"You know it is. She cares so much. And you do too." Madison turned further into her neck, warm tears dotting the headmistress's collarbone. "And I'm going to be alone again."

Cordelia pulled her out of her embrace, the dirty blonde trying to duck away as she hovered above her, water falling down to rest on the alchemist's own cheeks, her hazel eyes squeezed tight. Cordelia's words made no sense, breath rushed as she tried to explain whatever she tried to explain. She herself wasn't sure.

She tugged Madison down and their noses bumped and she cried out a little at the pain running up into her eyes but her lips met the girl's anyway and Madison wasn't breathing, sobbing into their embrace, mouths parting every time she did, salt mixing in. It wasn't pretty, it didn't feel good, it tasted like misery.

But Cordelia couldn't let her go and Madison had no intention of leaving.

OOOoooOOO

"Tell the truth Cordy, are you into girls now?"

Cordelia stiffened. She wanted to bite, to snap, back, but she couldn't find the strength to. Not against Madison.

The actress's posture faltered as she watched tears spring to the headmistress's eyes, as she watched her hold them back because she knew her gouged eyes hurt too much to welcome such feelings.

She wanted to apologize and to fall to her knees and let the woman kiss her hair and hold her tight but bile in her throat was preventing her from doing what she so desperately wanted to do. Her vomit tasted of bitter jealousy.

"Please. _Please_. I need to find her."

Madison shook her head, knowing Cordelia couldn't see but also knowing the woman knew her well enough to know she was doing so.

"Madison. I've never asked anything of you. I've never asked anything." Cordelia was practically begging, hand on the bed's frame, knuckles tight. Like they'd been on the dirty blonde's shirt.

Like she'd seen them on Misty's frame as she'd sneaked into the greenhouse.

The worst timing of her life.

"I don't want to help." She said softly. "I don't. I hate her."

Her name fell out from between broken sobs and her heart tightened as she too began to cry, unable to stop herself from once more breaking in front of the alchemist.

"I hate her. I hate her so much and I hate this place and I hate you."

"Madison. Madison please don't-"

She took a step back, out of reach, her own hands out as if to protect herself. Like she always was. She wanted so badly to thread her fingers with Cordelia's and to pull her closer and to kiss her protruding bones into submission. But she couldn't. Wouldn't.

Couldn't.

She stepped back again and she knew that Cordelia knew she was leaving and both their cries doubled and she so wanted to run into her arms. She kicked her foot out, hitting the swamp witch's shawls, her earrings, towards the headmistress.

It killed her to do so, but she knew Cordelia would figure it out, she only needed a push. A little nudge. It'd killed her to hurt the wild blonde as she had. But she had.

Maybe she'd get her soul back this way.

OOOoooOOO

She nursed her swelling eye, her fingers tight around her own wrist as she held her head up, propped up against the bathtub.

She'd gotten what she'd deserved but she didn't think she deserved the steps coming her way and stopping at the bathroom's threshold. Bare feet.

"I, ah, I wanted to thank ya."

"Fuck off."

And the older girl did. It took her a few seconds to turn around but she did and Madison began crying again, her bruises hurting as she burrowed into the crook of her elbow.

OOOoooOOO

"Can we talk?"

"I'd rather not. Don't you have someone else to puppy after?" Her words were harsh and spit out but Cordelia barely flinched. Almost as if she was used to it. The woman lowered herself down onto her bed, sitting awkwardly. Almost as if she'd never sat there before.

Madison's head suddenly fell to her shoulder and Cordelia's arms were around her in a second, tight and warm and forgiving.

All she needed.

"Try to survive. Try not to do anything stupid. Try not to let yourself get carried away. Please."

"Are you saying I'm volatile?"

"I'm not the one who hits people over their head with a brick."

Madison stiffened before softening, a light laugh escaping. "You're biting back. I taught you well. I think." She tilted her head back to meet Cordelia's jaw with her teeth. "I don't like it."

Cordelia's fingers pushed her hair back from her face and she kissed her forehead, sunglasses bumping into the top of her head. The girl's hands came up and she rested them on Cordelia's, holding her there as she breathed in and out tightly, wanting to cry but unwilling to show the others, minutes from then, her red rimmed eyes.

"You know I can't."

"Can't what?"

"Not get carried away."

Cordelia breathed out through her nose and she kissed her temple. "I know." She blinked past the pain, scars breaking. "And I wish I could ask you to not but I know it's impossible. Try not to hurt her. Can I ask that of you?"

"Only for you."

"I love you."

"I know." Madison bit her lower lip and her hazel eyes closed. "I, I guess I love you too." She laughed. "I've never said it. Ever." She looked up into reflective glasses, watching herself cry after all. "Fitting it's for you, right?"

Cordelia shook her head, defeated, unable to answer.

"I do. I do love you." Madison tugged her down by her silky blonde hair, trailing from her jaw to her cheek to her lips, kissing the corner. "I hate myself for it. I told myself I'd never say it. You're breaking me one last time."

OOOoooOOO

She'd guessed the dirty blonde hadn't ran away like the sun kissed boy had said. She'd guessed the girl had very much stayed on the property. Just like the coven's new dog had guessed too. Both trailed along by strong perfume.

Her rose bushes had seen better days and the pup didn't seem to care and she wasn't surprised one foggy morning to be gazing down at Madison's lifeless body, rotten and scowling, like always. Black skin mixed with fresh tears.

She glanced back over her shoulder at Misty Day, newly reinvigorated, a shawl tight around her shoulders and a small frown on her face. Though it was nothing if supportive. She shivered, goosebumps running down her arms and Cordelia reached back to rub comforting circles into her skin. She was so cold nowadays. It was taking so long for Hell to leave her bones.

The oldest of the three, one dead and two barely breathing, sighed lightly and turned back to the rotting flesh down in the ground.  
>She wouldn't be alright when she woke.<p>

OOOoooOOO

It'd taken a few days for Madison to unlock her bedroom door to the headmistress, the Supreme, as she took her time to make herself look somewhat presentable. She tried to hide the fact that she still coughed out blood and held on too tightly to Misty when the girl visited her, talked her through every bad dream.

But Cordelia knew. The wild blonde told her everything, late at night, hidden in darkness. Holding onto each other tight.

She walked into the dimly lit room, the curtains drawn close, and Madison looked up, mascara and death running down her cheeks.

"Hey."

Cordelia laughed past her own tears. "We haven't talked in months and that's what you say?"

"What did you want to hear?" Madison asked, voice hoarse. She trailed her hand to the scarf around her throat and she tugged on it, breathing lightly.

The Supreme sat down besides her and the girl shifted over to give her more space. She raised the covers and with a simple "thanks" Cordelia huddled in besides her, turned on her side, black eyes on the actress, elbow beneath her temple. Her free hand reached up to trace patterns into Madison's cheek.

"Are you okay?"

A simple question.

But the answers were lost in time and space and Cordelia watched, eyes wide, as Madison's responses ran into each other and divulged and exploded.

Cordelia reached forward and kissed her cheeks, her temple, her lips but Madison could only cry back, hands anchored on strong forearms and unable to give back.

"Misty-" She hiccuped. "What about Misty? What about you and Misty?"

"It'll be okay, Madison. It'll be okay."


End file.
